Still Hiding Something

I don't know from where I get the idea. But even after that last post, with all its details. I feel like there is some big secret that I am not sharing with you. Not shared out of any conscious intention, but hidden and inhibiting. The thing is, I want to tell you everything. I want this to be the intimate portrait of me that existed but never existed. Because, though I know that everyone is complex and unique and worthy of a novel, I want this to be mine. You are free to make yours. In fact, I encourage it. I just want to find my voice, here on this page, with these words, in this particular way.

But it still feels like there is something that I am not telling you. I'm not gay, if that's what you were thinking. I am quite sure of my heterosexuality, which, believe me, is something of a lifted burden. No, it's not that. It's something else.

I don't really know what to tell you. If anyone is listening, I could use some prompting.